Further Adventures of the Lost and Confused

Well, today was a strange day. Lots of mixed emotions.
I woke up and felt like not eating. I got a message that my old doctor had a letter for me that unemployment told me I needed.
I got together a bunch of cds from my collection to take to a used cd store, I didn't get enough money for them but it was enough to pay part of my car insurance bill with a little left over. I had some nice collectible cds but they didn't give me much for them, but also just some regular cds that I didn't really care about.
So I then stopped at my old doctors office and picked up the letter.
I got home and faxed it to the unemployment office, I put a note on it asking if it was ok and to let me know.
Anyone else have the same experience with calling unemployment and leaving messages and never receiving any calls back? It's frustrating, plus the calls are long distance for me.
I called and left a message, asked if the letter was ok and if there was anything else they needed, if I could be eligible for benefits or not.
I know I won't get them but I'm trying.
Then I called my MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDER. I asked if I had a therapist assigned to me yet, and was told no that it usually takes two weeks or more. They transferred me to the person that handles assigning cases to doctors and I left a message, got no call back of course.

Emotionally it's been very hard. Very up and down.
I'll feel down one minute, got mad when waiting for the store to look at my cds and more mad when offered so little for them. Then next minute I'll feel good for no reason and it is very strange.

I was listening to a cd last night because I knew I had to sell it, and I heard a song that reminded me of a friend that passed away. I remember playing the song for him because he had never heard it before and he appreciated it, it was a song about the Irish and how the English have treated them over history.
So I was crying about that, I wish he was still around. There are songs I'll hear or things I'll think of and I can't share them with him anymore, and I can't interact with him anymore.

I have lots of things planned for next week which is good, to stay busy.
But I also have so much to worry about, how will I pay the rent, how will I pay the bills.
I have medical doctor to see, a special blood test that takes a long time to do, have to go to a community help center to see what I can do about things, also need to call other places about rent help.
My dad asked me to come over for Thanksgiving an I want to go but I'm very anxious about it. I haven't seen his family for such a long time and I'm scared to go, worried about what to say. My life is so messed up and I have nothing good to share with them.

I have tried chatting online for support, and that has helped. It's nice to interact with people, also reminds me of when I used to be "productive" and helped others before the stress got to be too much.
It's weird to feel like I don't fit in anywhere, but then to know that so many people are in similar situations and have issues in common with me.
I've never met anyone with the social anxiety problems I'm having, but there are a lot of people that have them.
It's like I've observed so much about life, and read so much but my experiences are so limited and isolated.

Anyway, that's the latest.